#cw health

[hexcii]

So- I have another doctors appointment tomorrow and going back to square one after almost year cause my physiotherapist was getting nowhere and I got even more confirmation from his that yeah something is definitely going on and I should get diagnosed

BUT

I think this is a bit concerning but mostly really fucking funny- I contacted my health center or whatever it’s called in English through an app and described my symptoms and what the physiotherapist recommended AND THEY SCHEDULED ME FOR AN “EMERGENCY VISIT” THEN FROZE THE CHAT SO I CANT ASK FOR CLARIFICATION

SO UH

Let’s see if I survive tomorrow yayyy

[clockways]

Trying not to be scared of the nerve test tomorrow but I don't do well with needles. I especially don't do well with things staying under my skin. And I'm worried about what the results will mean, no matter what they are.

My hands have gotten so bad so quickly and I can't... I can't tell you how much I can't go through not using my hands again. Especially if it's going to be long term.

Sorry, just ranting it out to try and let go of it.

[irisbleufic]

You would think as a cancer patient just 5 years ago I’d be used to it/over it when an ER visit is necessary but here I am in the fucking waiting room with a headache more worrying than any I’ve had in my life and I’m so fucking mad about it. Fuck this dumbass body in perpetuity.

[oakthcrn]

So peepaw will be having open heart surgery on monday. I am taking a leave of absence from work to take care of him. So my activity is going to be wonky in the coming weeks.

You can reach out to me via discord too, I am just letting y'all know in case I drop off the face of the earth for while.

[aghostnamedcalamity]

how will Benjamin react when Mordecai eventually dies?

So (keeping in mind that this is completely in my headcanon!) I always felt Mordecai would make it to a ripe age considering his strict dietary habits. However, I imagined he’d suffer a major health issue near the end. He has a genetic predisposition to strokes from his father’s side and his mother passed from Parkinson’s in my headcanon.

Benjamin by this point is working as a doctor at Barnes Hospital so he is more than capable of aiding Mordecai in his time of need, and he does. He does his best to help him be comfortable. I think he would process Mordecai’s passing with grace. He’ll be understandably sad at the loss but content with the way he left. With a full life and plenty of memories. Unlike when his mother passed, which caused a lot of emotional turmoil and grief due to unresolved issues.

[iliothermia]

Tfw my rabbi emails me while I'm in the waiting room and I definitely don't cry a little

Doc appointment was decent, doing blood tests to screen for lupus 💀

[biffybobs]

I’m taking a wee break over the weekend so that hopefully I can get back to simming, and finishing off the Bakewell legacy, next week. I’ve been plagued by dizziness after a lingering inner ear infection for the last month and my GP also gave me new anxiety medication which, you guessed it, can make me dizzy 😵‍💫

[soliloquics]

not feeling too great so alas,, writing tomorrow

[vikintor]

(Cw: health) (This will be deleted later)

Due to sudden health issues that took me and my family by surprise, I will be taking a short break from work and pausing my plans for my future announcement.

I still don't know the extent of the damage but I'm listening to doctors and seeking treatment to find out and be able to get back as soon as possible.

My only plans for now, besides making what my doctor said, is playing a bit of BG3 and The Sims later to be distracted. So I won't be totally offline, but my timeline will be even more shitposting than updates for these moments.

[ilikecarsandlike4people]

Okay, bit of a life update:

The good news: I'm getting closer to getting all of my diagnosis paperwork sorted so I can finally get some help with my studies. Also, the campus accessibility people have started to take me more seriously and I should be able to go back to school when it starts again in September.

The wheelchair has also worked incredibly well. I didn't think it would make much of a difference but its made my life a lot easier.

Also, starting summer holidays so I have more time to focus on solely art.

Things are looking up and I am so very hopeful about this <3

(putting the other stuff under the cut bc cw health stuff)

So, I had a consultation with the school faculty board today, showing them around campus and demonstrating difficult doors and elevators. I spent a total of 3 hours wheeling around campus and I think I overdid it majorly.

So... I had a bit of a fall at home afterwards. I'm okay, but it kind of came out of nowhere. Haven't had the sort of blackout in a while so it kind of surprised me. I'm suspecting it was in part the exhaustion and standing up from a sitting position that kind of did it.

I'm monitoring blood pressure cause it's a bit weird rn and probably will camp on the floor tonight (I have an air mattress for days like this) to prevent more accidents.

That being said, things have been a bit.... unpredictable lately, so I've kind of had to cut back with art, only focusing on commissions. I'm going to try and find a good balance between working and rest cause... clearly I haven't found one yet, heh.

Hope you are all well, and have a nice day💕

-R

[hexcii]

First actual post of 2025!

I just want to take the time to ramble a bit about TNG. The Name Game is very special to me if I’m being honest, it’s the first fic I’ve EVER written (not counting drabbles and the random oneshots rotting in my google docs) and it’s been such a surprise to see so many people enjoying it. It’s such a weird feeling, so many people liking my writing and art feels so surreal

TNG has only been out for six months and it’s already surpassed every expectation I had of it, and I want to thank all of you guys for that :)) I never expected my lil health comfort fic to attract this much attention, it’s a little scary haha!

That’s truly what made me write this fic though, (skip this part if you don’t wanna hear about my health struggles 👍👍👍👍)

I’ve always been disabled but I had no idea I was up until maybe late 2022 to early 2023? But my health really started to decline throughout 2023-24 because 11 years of professional level circus training when I shouldn’t have been working out at all finally caught up with my piece of shit body and my symptoms got worse really really fast. And that was really fucking scary, and it’s definitely taken a toll on my mental health too. So, for comfort, I decided to turn to the dca lmao, I remember being incredibly inspired by the song Happy Hare by Yaelokre and that started this whole thing. So, I just put together the vibes I got from that song, a fnaf-esc plot along with the dca and my own struggles with my disabilities and boom! The name game woo!!!

It’s really special to me, I don’t think I would’ve been able to go through the whole medical process as well as I did without it (that’s not to say it hasn’t been a hellhole cause uh yeah healthcare kinda sucks for the disabled (and afab people) but that’s a whole other rant for another day)

Does this count as a love letter to my own fic? Oh well, I just wanted to ramble on about my feelings about it. I’ll probably write more fics after I finish TNG but I think it’ll always hold a special place in my heart <33

And ofc I wanna thank you guys for reading it and giving me so much support :]] I love reading your guys’ comments and tags (AND GOD THE FANART???? NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS DID I EXPECT THAT)

And also another thanks to @r0tting-rat @pluck-heartstrings @naffeclipse and @bamsara for inadvertently getting me inspired to write hehehe (sorry for the random tag I hope that it’s okay-)

And another another thanks specifically to @miahead for encouraging me to write it in the first place and dealing with my shenanigans in the process of writing each and every chapter, love you!! <3333

[clockways]

So much love to @thebibliosphere for being so open about her health. I've had a constant headache and migraines for a year with no break. My fatigue is slowly destroying me. I need a four hour nap everyday. (And chronic migraines for a few decades.)

Thanks to her own struggle got my ferritin levels tested. 11.

ELEVEN.

This lab counts 6.25 as the low threshold with 137 as a high. A lot of others seem to use 12 as low. Some say under 22 is low. (Edit WHO says under 15 is low.) Migaine research seems to be linking them and saying under 50 is low. And apparently for some people under 100 is too low.

My ass is down here at eleven.

Time to find some ferritin supliments.

[aluminia]

Yeah I don't think the amount of health anxiety I have is neurotypical

[styxisms]

// I'm sorry for not being active this weekend so far. I'm still recovering from the pink eye. And I got the news that my mother's health is worse than we expected and isn't going to improve. So my father was having a long talk with me on Friday about if/when she dies. I've always been very close with my mother. I knew she was sick but I'm just not ready for all of this. We talked briefly about a transplant but idk. I just don't know. I haven't been able to talk to her about it because she said she wanted to talk later. I can't even sit alone with my thoughts at all without tearing up. I know it's part of life. But man. It's so hard. Every time I start thinking I start crying. I haven't even slept much.

[oakthcrn]

Just a little bit of venting under the cut. Don't mind me.

I had to take my dad to the doctors today which is a two hour drive for us, and come to find out his heart is in worse shape than we thought. They have to put in a pacemaker and they confirmed a blockage. They need to determine just how bad the blockage is to determine if he needs open heart surgery.

This is really stressing me out, I just feel so damn helpless. My dad is good spirits which is good, but he ended up just telling me to drive home and that he didn't need me there.

They said the procedures are very common and they don't even put you under anesthesia, but I still can't help but worry. I hope they discharge him tomorrow, but I already talked to work, and they are trying to help me if I need to miss work.

just blargh, I don't know what to do with myself, I'm trying to get motivated to write.

[cynicalrosebud]

Rumor Has It (15)

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

CW: Medical; Aftermath of torture; self-deprecating humor; self-loathing, guilt, You Are Responsible For Your Own Media Consumption

The hum of the medical equipment filled the room, a steady and familiar rhythm that had become Rumor’s background noise over the past few days. He had drifted in and out of consciousness, hazy memories of Soap and Gaz visiting, their banter like a lifeline. But now, he lay quietly, half-awake, staring at the ceiling with his mind wandering between reality and the lingering nightmares of his capture.

The soft sound of boots against the floor pulled him from his thoughts. He recognized the weight of that gait immediately—quiet, deliberate. A shadow crossed the doorway, and then Nikolai stepped into the room.

Rumor blinked, his eyes refocusing on the figure by the door. Nik stood there for a moment, taking in the sight of him, a faint frown pulling at his lips. The room felt smaller with him in it, the air thick with the unspoken words hanging between them.

"Little mouse," Nik greeted him, his voice low and rough, with that familiar Russian lilt.

"‘M alive~," Rumor croaked, his voice raspier than he expected. He winced, his hand instinctively moving to his side where the worst of the damage still ached.

Nik moved to the side of the bed, his expression softening ever so slightly. He didn’t sit, but he stood close enough that Rumor could feel his presence, grounding him in the moment.

"I see that," Nikolai said, a hint of something unspoken in his tone. "Stubborn as always."

Rumor smirked, though it lacked his usual cheekiness. "Wouldn't wanna... disappoint."

There was a beat of silence before Nikolai crossed his arms, his eyes scanning Rumor’s bandaged body. “You had us worried, you know.”

“Could say the same about… those bastards,” Rumor quipped, though it came out more strained than he’d intended. “Didn’t go down... quietly.”

Nikolai raised an eyebrow, his lips twitching in amusement. "I would expect nothing less." Then, after a pause, he added, "You should not have been alone. That mission... it was a risk."

Rumor exhaled softly, his hand gripping the edge of the blanket. “Didn’t think I’d... make it easy for ‘em. Guess I was wrong.”

Nik’s eyes darkened slightly, but he didn’t comment on the failure. Instead, he leaned forward slightly, lowering his voice. “They sent us a video. Of you.”

Rumor tensed, a flicker of pain crossing his features as he remembered the torture, the taunts, the weight of hopelessness in that room. But he quickly masked it with a weak chuckle. “Thought that was my... Oscar-worthy performance.”

Nikolai didn’t laugh, his eyes fixed on Rumor’s face, studying him. “You told them you were not worth saving.”

Rumor shifted uncomfortably, wincing as he felt the pull of his injuries. “Yeah, well... didn’t want to be a burden.”

“You are not a burden.” Nikolai’s voice was firm, the weight of his words leaving no room for argument. “You never were.”

Rumor looked up at him, blinking away the exhaustion and the faint sting of tears that threatened to surface. He wasn’t used to this—people caring, people coming for him. “Don’t go soft on me now, Nik.”

Nikolai’s lips quirked into the faintest of smiles. “Soft? No. Just... honest.”

Rumor rolled his eyes, though the movement was sluggish. “Honest, huh? That’s new.”

Nik chuckled, the sound warm and familiar, like an anchor to reality. "I always tell you the truth."

Rumor’s gaze softened, the snark momentarily fading as he looked up at Nik. “Aye... I know.”

For a moment, the two of them just stood in that shared silence, the weight of what happened lingering between them, but somehow the tension eased with Nikolai’s presence. Rumor didn’t have to keep up his walls with him, didn’t have to hide behind his usual sharp wit.

Nikolai finally reached out, resting a hand on Rumor’s shoulder with a gentle squeeze. “You will recover.”

Rumor gave him a faint nod, but before he could fully relax, Nik’s voice took on a more serious edge. “You listen to the doctors. Rest. Or else…”

Rumor raised an eyebrow, half-grinning through the pain. “Or else what?”

Nikolai’s eyes sparkled with amusement as he leaned in just enough to make his point clear. “Or else I will have to give you a spanking, любимец.”

Rumor let out a hoarse laugh, coughing a little from the effort. His voice was playful but tired as he muttered, “Yes, sir.”

Nik gave a satisfied nod, his hand lingering a moment longer on Rumor’s shoulder before straightening up. “Good. Now rest.”

As Rumor’s eyes fluttered closed, his body finally giving in to the exhaustion, he heard Nikolai’s voice, low and steady, a grounding presence in the haze.

“You are worth more than you know, Rumor.”

And then, finally, sleep took him.

As soon as Rumor's mam stormed into the hospital room, everyone—except Price—froze in place. Soap, Gaz, and even the normally unflappable Ghost exchanged curious glances as they heard her sharp voice echo through the door.

“Carwyn Grant Lowe!” she bellowed, instantly silencing any conversation.

Rumor, lying in his hospital bed with bandages wrapped around his body, visibly cringed at the sound of his full name, something no one had heard before. Not from him, at least.

His teammates looked at each other, eyebrows raised. Soap mouthed, Carwyn? like he'd misheard, while Ghost blinked, probably smirking beneath his mask.

“What on earth have you been up to? You’re out here getting shot at like some idiot when you know better!” She barreled into the room, a whirlwind of maternal fury and worry, and made a beeline for her son. “Do you know how many sleepless nights you’ve given me, gwas?”

Price stood in the corner of the room, arms folded with a knowing smile. He’d been expecting this and clearly wasn’t about to intervene.

Soap leaned in toward Ghost, whispering, “Carwyn? Sounds fancy, don’t it?”

Ghost's shoulders shook in silent amusement, but he said nothing. Gaz was struggling not to laugh, hiding his grin behind a hand as he turned toward the door, pretending to cough.

Rumor—no, Carwyn—looked like he wanted the hospital bed to swallow him whole. "Mam," he muttered under his breath, eyes darting to the 141 members who were all enjoying this way too much. “I’m fine, alright? No need to—”

“Oh, you’re fine, are you?” she cut him off, throwing her arms in the air dramatically. “Just lying here in a hospital bed, lookin’ like you’ve been through hell, and you call that fine? Don’t give me that, boy, you’re not too old for me to tan your hide if you keep pulling stunts like this!”

Soap, unable to help himself, let out a low chuckle. “Carwyn,” he tested out the name, grinning at Ghost and Gaz. “Doesn’t quite fit the Rumor we know, does it?”

Gaz snorted. “More like he’s been keeping that a rumor.”

“Shut it, lads,” Rumor groaned, trying to sink further into his bed. His face flushed red with embarrassment as his mam continued her tirade.

“And you’ve got these boys running around like headless chickens trying to keep you from getting killed? Have some bloody sense, Carwyn!” She shook her head in exasperation, hands on her hips as she gave him a look that could wither a grown man.

Ghost leaned against the wall, his amusement barely concealed. “Carwyn Grant Lowe,” he repeated thoughtfully, a hint of a smirk audible even through his mask.

Rumor groaned again. "Oh, for the love of—can we not?"

Price, finally stepping in, chuckled. “Right, Ma’am, I’ll make sure he doesn’t forget to behave. These lads will take good care of him.” His tone was light, clearly amused but also gently trying to steer her out before Rumor expired from sheer embarrassment.

His mam huffed, giving Price a firm nod. “You better, Captain, because if this one gets himself hurt again, I’ll come after the lot of you. Starting with you, Carwyn.”

With one last glance around the room, she turned and strode out, leaving a thick, charged silence in her wake.

The moment the door clicked shut, Soap burst out laughing, barely able to catch his breath. “Carwyn! Grant! Lowe!” he howled, clutching his stomach. “Why the hell didn’t you tell us your real name?”

Gaz joined in, grinning like a madman. “All this time, we’ve been calling you Rumor, and it’s Carwyn! Mate, this is gold.”

Rumor—or Carwyn—covered his face with his hand, muttering, “I’m never living this down, am I?”

Price chuckled, giving him a pat on the shoulder. “Not a chance, Sergeant Lowe. Not a chance.”